Picture this.. (if you don't want to, it's O,K, just read on, and I'll pretend that you did).. I've just applied my daily dose of aluminium-free bacteria-odour-suppressing armpit slime, and I shrug on my Polo T of the day. This leaves me half-nekkid, except for a comfy pair of boxers that, from a distance, look like short shorts. I'm talking about the solidly colored kind, not the weird looking white ones with faux lipstick stains, the ones with the XOXOX tattoed on the butt area, or the pyjama-like checks and stripes. Not the ah-pek looking type neither.
Anyway, I've barely done that (remember the Polo T?) when I experience another Morning Ritual (the other being the armpit slime). Imagine a chorus of whiney high-pitched voices raised in disparate, nagging asymphony, a furry duet of demanding calls for Tuna-based munchies, unapologetically and sometimes apoplectically commanding that Breakfast Be Served
"Nnnooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww""Mmmmrrrrooooww Nooooowwwwwwwwww"
"[squeak]"After combing some hair back down, I decide to open the door, resigned to my sub-lot in life: designated naggy cat feeder.
Normally, I'd be greeted by one or more of the following:
a) a mass of two furry bodies pounding each other with small, soft but painfully-sharp claw tipped feet
b) lots of fur on the formerly clean floor
c) hairball
d) wet hairball in a puddle of fluid, appetizingly light-brown (courtesy of the squeaker)
e) Poo-smear-trail, probably from a butt-drag, resulting from some kind of food snarfed during the night
f) two furry expectant and innocent-looking faces looking up at me from two perfectly positioned feline torsos amid the murdered ruins of a dangerous roll of toilet paper.
Today, in this episode of MDSF, we have
g) : bright red blood, splattered in a fancy, Martha Stewart-esque decorative pattern, tastefully surrounding a few bloody pawprints.
AAAAaaaaaaaAAhhhhHHhhhHH!
Bersambung, to be continued.
In the next episode of MDSF, expect to read about:
- my exciting call to the office, applying for half-day's leave to bring the (really) bloody cat to the vet!
- the extremely traumatic taxi-ride with the Amazing Organic Air-Raid Siren!
- the spellbinding Vet examination and double-hypodermic Rapid-Delivery Medication System!
- the doubly traumatic taxi-ride back from the Vet's office, featuring: Feline Panting and bloody smears all over the Carrier Door!
- drawing a double espresso pull from my Proteo Barista, while avoiding overly-grateful body rubs from the snuffling Bloody Cat!
- None of the Above, if I don't get 'round to doing it!
Was this a good day?
